They live among us! New human species discovered!

Recent sightings, uncovered documents and archaeological research all around the world has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that a new and improved branch of the human species is evolving. What’s even more amazing is that the species lives in plain sight in every city and every town among the largely unaware human population! Who are they and what do they want?

Rarely are new species discovered and it’s even rarer that new forms of Homo Sapiens are encountered. Based on exhaustive research from detailed investigations at a remote archeological site named Google, I’ve documented what I’ve found so far about this new species!

Scientific Classification

Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Very important
GenusHomō
SpeciesHomō Frugalis Independae
Common Name: Frugaler, FI-er
Disclosure: Long
Investing style: Buy & hold

Characteristics

Homo Frugalis Independae is almost indistinguishable from their more populous cousins Homo Sapiens, and their physical appearance is just as varied. They are largely classified by a common desire to reach financial independence from external sources and be able to retire early if they choose.

On closer inspection, Frugalers tend to have lower-stress levels than their more popular counterparts due to the security from their passive income and lower work requirements. They are largely goal-driven with a clear vision of where they want to be in the future. Frugalers also pay attention to health and a healthy lifestyle as this is a great way to reduce health-related expenses later in life.

While they share the same pain thresholds as their fellow humans, FI-er’s are more adversely affected by stock dividend cuts which may decrease their savings rates and immediately make them write a blog post. Many humans do not know what a stock dividend is, so they are immune to this particular problem.

Taxonomy

The Latin noun homō means “human being”.

The species name Frugalis Independae is a conjunction of the Latin adverb “Frugalis” meaning “to be frugal and avoid waste” with “Independae“, the Latin progressive verb meaning “seeking independence through compounding passive income streams”. Together these two terms convey the dual philosophy of reaching financial independence through reducing expenses and growing income that is embodied by the species.

The shorter name “Frugaler” can also be used to refer to individuals in this species, along with the even shorter form, “FI-er“.

Evolution

Financial independence is not a recent invention although in ancient times it was largely achieved by active investors carrying the biggest swords. Passive approaches to hoarding cash were not so successful and required an extraordinarily wide moat plus a huge castle with thick walls.

The first documented evidence of a Frugaler, according to an historical scroll entitled “David Copperfield” uncovered in1849, is Wilkins Micawber, who said “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”

More recently, the tome “Think and Grow Rich” discovered in 1937 shows proof of an early Frugaler named Napoleon Hill who inspired a generation and continues to do so today. Genetic testing hasn’t yet established a direct link from him to today’s Frugalers but it’s entirely possible.

Evolution is sometimes advanced with viruses which have the ability to naturally select those members of the species able to survive and eliminate those with weaknesses. It was the accident release of the “internet” virus in the late 20th century which formed the catalyst behind the Frugaler’s sudden evolution out of nowhere. In particular, the “social-media” family of the virus had the biggest impact, with strains having names such as “twitter”, “facebook” and “wordpress” reaching virally into people’s DNA and switching on the FI gene – starting a transformation of mind and body in those Frugalers which continues today.

The FI gene gives Frugalers the desire to live within their means, save money and grow their passive income. A successful Frugaler can retire from hard-work at a much earlier age than a non-Frugaler. It’s this “going against the grain” approach which makes them such a fascinating species to study since it’s in stark contrast to the people they live amongst.

Distribution and habitat

There’s no need to travel to a remote jungle or desolate desert to study this evolved species since Homo Frugalis Independae can be found all over the world; from Biassau to Palau in the shade of Avalon, from Fiji to Tiree and the Isles of Ebony… However, the geographic regions with the largest concentrations of Frugalers are North America, Canada, Europe and Asia. This conclusion is based on an archaeological dig at the ModestMoney site which has traces pointing to 470 Frugalers around the world.

There is currently no documented proof of Frugalers living in Antartica or other polar regions. It’s likely that the extreme cold temperatures there act as a natural barrier to Frugaler migration since the climate would require excessive heating bills. A Frugaler can easily avoid such an expense by living a thousand miles closer to the equator.

Ecology and behavior

Because Frugalers look so similar to Homo Sapiens, they could be living next door and you wouldn’t even know. To a trained eye however, there are certain traits and behaviors that give them away.

Communication

Frugalers are very social and expressive communicators. When surprised by a sudden stock price decrease they may emit a “tweet”. And upon discovering a company with a great valuation they have been known to let other Frugalers know with a detailed “blog” sound.

When in the presence of a large bear market, Frugalers will retreat into their investment portfolios and wait until the bear market goes away, rather than panic and run which is the more typical reaction of a Homo Sapien.

Diet

That person stopping at Starbucks twice a day buying expensive coffee? Not a Frugaler. Look for people eating a home-made or good-value healthy lunch in your office instead for a much better chance of finding a Frugaler.

While Frugalers can be found at just about any public restaurant, the frequency of those visits is typically limited to special occasions or date nights.

Fear of expensive automobiles

Frugalers have a tendency to develop a mild form of Motorphobia that prevents the purchasing of expensive automobiles. This is normal and should be encouraged. Some advanced Frugalers have even abandoned cars and their associated costs altogether, relying on self transportation and public transport instead.

If your neighbor arrives home in a $80,000 new car it’s a fair assumption that she’s not a Frugaler. But if your other neighbor arrives home in a used Toyota Corolla, chances are high that you’ve a Frugaler living next door.

Social Interaction

You can also identify Frugalers by how they respond to certain questions or statements. A Frugaler will respond positively and enthusiastically to comments such as:

  • “Wow – so the stock market dropped over 60% today! Isn’t that the best news you’ve heard all week!?”
  • “Your passive long-term buy and hold strategy is definitely paying dividends.”
  • “Compounding dividend growth for the win!”
    (a subtle fist pump can help here for additional clarification if you’re talking in person)
  •  “Congratulations on reaching your Emergency Fund goal this year!”
  •  “I always struggle keeping my Savings Rate above 43.4% – what advice can you give me?”

On the other hand, if you casually work those comments into a conversation with someone and they give you a blank or confused look, then quickly change the subject and ask about their latest smart-phone, clothing or new car purchase instead.

In a social situation, Frugalers tend to be conservative about discussing their financial independence plans unless they know they’re talking to other Frugalers. To help move past that awkward state, here are some things that you won’t find a Frugaler saying.

  • “What’s a budget?”
  •  “I’ve just started day-trading Penny Stocks today – I read an article on the internet and it looks so easy to make money!”
  •  “I’ll worry about retirement later when I’m older. I mean, you only live once right?”

Be warned though, once two or more Frugalers have identified each other they may need to be forcibly separated before they’ll stop talking about Financial Independence.

Disclaimer

No Frugalers, real or imagined, were harmed while researching and writing this post.

Compounding dividend growth for the win!

 

Quote of the day

I feel myself becoming the fearless person I have dreamt of being. Have I arrived? No. But I’m constantly evolving and challenging myself to be unafraid to make mistakes.

0 thoughts on “They live among us! New human species discovered!”

      1. It certainly did. I did read “motorphobia” a little too latin-literally to begin with. I thought you may be heading down the fear of moving from your seat before you have finished your stock analysis!

        Your real meaning is much more appropriate. I can happily state that I am car free and have been my entire life. I fear I may have to yield eventually but plan to postpone that as long as possible!

        1. Hi Dividend Drive,

          Haha – my Latin failed me as I couldn’t find a good word for “fear of expensive cars”. Not that I know any Latin to being with.

          I’ve always associated your name with car as in driving, although I know it means drive as in motivation. Congrats on being car-free though, that’s one big variable expense you don’t have to deal with! When I lived in the UK and Germany, I relied on trains, cycling and walking – here in the US it’s harder to avoid a car.

          Best wishes,
          -DL

  1. Haha same for me, on my (very late) lunch break. Saw your post this AM, but damaged roof due to storm took my attention away.

    Love it, really funny and accurate too I think

    Cheers

    1. Hey M,

      Sorry to hear about the storm – I hope the roof damage wasn’t too bad. I’ll have to check up on my parents to see if they had bad weather.

      Glad you found it amusing, it made me laugh while writing it so I figured someone would enjoy it.

      Cheers,
      -DL

  2. Then there’s the even more rare species Homō Independae. These are prior Homō Frugalis Independae who have evolved past their local cousins who search for independence and have reached full financial independence.

    1. Hi Adam,

      Great point, and they’re probably worthy of a whole new study to see how they manage to cope with the stress of not needing to work! They’ve earned it though, having reached the personal finance equivalent of ‘enlightenment’.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Best wishes,
      -DL

  3. Hahaha, very funny piece! Thank you! Is it possible for a Homo Sapien to turn into a Homo Frugalis Independae? Cause this is how I feel… I also have some hair growing on weird places… Hahaha! Just kidding, I’ve enjoyed the read!

    Cheers!

    Mike

    1. Hi Mike,
      Definitely! If you’ve been infected by the FI Gene, the transformation to a Frugaler, while slow, is working 24 hours a day – just like your passive income.

      LOL about the hair! 🙂 There would be many more Frugalers if the transformation regrew thinning hair and baldness, I’ve not seen any evidence for that yet though!

      Cheers!
      -DL

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